perfection shattered

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Many writers refer to childhood as an innocent time. For me, it was a time of perfection – I felt undamageable and a perfect being who could whatever she wanted. My thoughts go in this direction today because I just saw a little girl, perhaps 7 years old, fall down onto her bare knees while […]

Processing Gaia

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Listening to: TV on the Radio, Seeds Earth has some beautiful lessons for me growth and decay growth feels open and full it burns on the edges I follow it as a dancing partner aiming for grace stumbling at times falling and bruising sulking slowly coming back onto the dance floor to catch up with […]

Every time

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every time I try to find the silver lining the good result of shitty experiences the tarnished underside shows up instead a gratitude for the love of simple data turns into an inability to connect with my heart because it does not speak in formulas and squares the sense that I might have these lesions […]

Mental Health Journal 02

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May 5, 2016 10:41pm Tomorrow is a new moon called Awakening Moon, my two year Alanon anniversary and I took the first dose of Prozac tonight.

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And I cannot

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And I cannot read poetry For the lyrics sing to my heart And leave me aching Too touched, moved For any action This bursting sensation This inspiration Fills the cracks and pushes past the walls Leaving me staring into an abyss So familiar that I don’t recognize it’s face So foreign that it sits inside […]

Iris Egbers photographed by Stefano Moro Van Wyk for Tush

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(the only words in this post title that I recognize are “photographed,” “by” and “for”) Shannon found this on Today’s Tie. I never got into the tumblr thing so I guess I’m being old fashioned by posting it here. Click on the image to see it bigger – the jewels on her face are so […]


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We are very serious. I love that I can chat with my lovely twin-flame, mon amie soeur, Shivala. Talking with her is very heartening. We come from the same part of the galaxy that is not this one. I’ve gotten to video skype – something I NEVER do – with her twice in the last […]

Well, that didn’t go quite as planned…

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…but I definitely feel on the other side of something – be it 40 days of detailed focus and documentation or allowing oneself to float a bit more. I did the latter after starting on the former and after reading my last Project 40 post, I’m really excited about my current perspective.

Project 40.02.03

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Confession: I disguise lack of discipline as following my heart. I’m still not sure when one is not the other. Oracle: OWL I found an owl feather today. Body: Rode up Webster on the bicycle & noticed fatigue in my glutes. Did not stretch. Ate ice cream & pie. I feel itchy, bloated & uncomfortable. […]