idol, i guess

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when I was little and scared
my dad encouraged me to listen to
and emulate

I did
and already had been

I cried the first time I saw her in concert
I mean
I was in the same freaking room with her
it was overwhelming

and kinda silly

now even when I hear her song jump or how high
(new ones that don’t have much emotion attached to them
I get choked up

even looking at her pics
gives me a bit of emotional stir

I don’t want to meet her anymore
it seems that the magic could be ruined if that happened

well, maybe I do

but I want to not want to meet her anymore

I want to keep the idolatry in it’s place
keep the pedestal in the gallery
and keep the dreaming free

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