Adriene Crimson

A friend asked me today to tell him what this whole project was all about so I thought I’d do a little bit of explaining. On each element below, I’ve quoted the Project 40 outline. What I can tell you, on this 10th day, is that it feels like guided journaling with things to focus on each day. Quite a few days have passed where I’ve had thoughts of answers to these questions that eluded me by the time I sat down to write. Mainly, I’m excited that I’m journaling and charting the same ideas for 40 days.
Also, I did offer up my anxiety as that “re-occuring issue” (see below) and have had 10 days with little anxiety (angst, frustration, sadness, confusion, yes, but anxiety as I’d been feeling it, no).
(click photo to see large and beautifully detailed version)
Thank you, Spicy Noodle Soup, for posting this photo. Please click thru to see the verbal content. I agree wholeheartedly.

This is the Intro to the Project 40 guidelines:

Invoking the Muses and the Gods for 40 days and 40 nights.
This is an invitation to put your greatest addiction, problem, fear, demon, obsession, re-occurring issue… on the 40-day altar to see what happens when you set a sincere intention, offer it up to the gods (archetypal forces) and implement 7 core elements into your daily life.

What happens when we lock ourselves into a 40-day Temenos? (sacred, enclosed space and time where we can be utterly honest with ourselves without fear)

7 Elements (to track in your journal or blog for 40 days):

Origins of why I chose to do this project can be read here.

Confession:
The guidelines for Project 40 say:

Get brutally honest with yourself about something that you did, said or thought that you would not want anyone else to ever know or find about.

I’m already pretty brutal with myself most days. It’s deciding what I want to share with whomever is reading this that’s the hard part. Ooh, that reads like a confession. Sweet.

Oracle:
The guidelines for Project 40 say:

Looking for daily signs and messages each day. You can choose a random song on shuffle, pull a tarot card, open a book for a word or passage, read your tea bag quotes, or look for messages on subway signs, street grafitti etc.

This one is tough for me because I like little things like: seeing the clock at exactly 12:34 or 11:11 or anytime:37, the flow of life being easy and peaceful, albeit, sometimes fast-paced, going somewhere to see someone and that someone walks right up to me, things of that ilk. I rarely find cards or words on the ground that seem meaningful because so much out there seems meaningful. I place meaning in almost everything I experience, for whatever that’s worth, positive or negative.

Body:
The guidelines for Project 40 say:

Commit to a loving act that puts you back in your body on a daily basis. A foot massage, a long walk, child’s pose, meditation, breath work etc.

I painted my face, put on a costume and went to a party. I brought to the party a non-alcoholic beverage of my own creation and drank only that while at this party, so as to help me avoid the temptation to have alcohol, which can wreak havoc on many of my body systems. It worked like a charm, tho, I think drinking Tonic sans Gin is not something my stomach likes. A cup of tea, once I arrived home again, and relaxing moment on the couch, helped fix that right up.

Virtue/Vice:
This one is the trickiest for me to answer. The guidelines for Project 40 say:

Would you trade white lies for truth? Coffee for Green Tea? Insecurity for Self-Possession? Record both virtues and vice as the appear along this 40 day journey.

My challenge lies in that I don’t feel comfortable claiming myself to be virtuous about much of anything and I don’t see the point in dwelling on things I consider to be vices, especially when the Confession section is already so rich and full for me.
I’m not going to report back about good deeds because that’s not the point of good deeds. “Phila, phil, ph ph, good deed doers*” do so for the joy of doing good. And, for the same reason, I don’t want to ponder the times I did not follow my instincts to do something helpful or nice for someone. I can admit that it feels like the former, sadly, happens more than the latter and that’s as far as I’ll go.

The only reason I even bother with this set is because I told myself that I’d be ready to go with this project with whatever research I did on it by the evening of July 18. By then, I hadn’t come up with my own questions or things to ponder, so I went with this outline.

*Name that film…

Relinquish:
The guidelines for Project 40 say:

Let go of a negative mental attitude, thought form, habit, ugly piece of clothing, etc. each day.

Sometimes, this is at the top of my awareness. Others, I sit here and wonder what I let go of.
My offering at the start of this project was to witness and release anxiety wherever I’ve found it. Honestly, I’ve been quite well equipped with the not-feeling of anxiety since this started. I’ve felt a plethora of other feelings, but anxiety is rather quiet. For that I am grateful. However, I maybe feel a bit of anxiety about admitting that “I’ve let it go” but I’m not sure why I want to hold on to it so I’ll look at that for a bit.

Inspiration/Gods:
The guidelines for Project 40 say:

Meditation, poetry, films, art work, sunsets, etc. Don’t let one day go by without having at least 3 minutes of beauty and inspiration that you have consciously taken in.

Went to a costume party today. Seeing a group of people wearing a rotating selection of handmade costumes was inspiring in the way that seeing a fluffy cloud in a bright blue sky whilst relaxing on a comfortable blanket in perfect weather, with favorite people, excellent food and enjoyable entertainment is satisfying. Just perfect.

Structure:
The guidelines for Project 40 say:

Look at your relationship to time on a daily basis. At the end of each day record the time you got up, what you did in between and what time you are going to bed. How much time did you spend on specific activities? How would you ideally like to restructure? You have 40 days to work it out.

But I have a pretty resolved relationship with time. I do run late but I know that Divine Right Action happens at the Divine Right Time. I love it when things happen without my trying. When I’m giving a massage or facial, I have a very intimate relationship with minutes, 5 minute spans, 15 minute segments, full hours and 90 minute blocks of time.

And then, there’s Douglas Adams

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime, doubly so.