Later, I was guiding a number of puppies – perhaps 12 – perhaps beagles – from the house to another location on the hilly, dried grass covered country land. They were super cute and playful and I was anxious about getting them to where they were going while enjoying their playful, vulnerable cuteness.

I once described a dream to a Jungian dream analyst on twitter called @thecarljung. The 140 character (or less) description of the dream was “still lake, dry grasses, bright sun, sex.” The dry grasses and feeling of that dream are very similar to the one I’ve typed up here. The response from @thecarljung was

Your dream paints a picture of a calm sense of self understanding

which was totally awesome and unexpected.

In researching puppies and litters of puppies I’ve interpreted my dream to mean that there’s some new playful energy coming soon that is full of creativity, intuition and self understanding. Yay!

i’ve been told that i’m no good at killing the minotaur
(or the medusa
or however the myth goes)

but I’m still in the middle of the battle
and the battle is evermore.
or, at least, until I get over the drama of the body…

[insert angels laughing riotously
knowingly
lovingly
dripping their effervescent tears onto my head
to remind me of home
and why I'm here]

[meanwhile, back on the battlefield:]
the mirror is being aimed
the light is reflecting and finding it’s target
the medusa is shattering
the minotaur has a broken leg
at least
maybe even lost an eye
his tail is definitely shorter than it was

i feel overwhelmed by being in a body
overwhelmed by having a heart
overwhelmed by calls to integrity and goodness

they make sure that
every step is weighed
every thought analyzed
every interaction graded
processing is constant
learning is ever-present

silence does not exist here anymore
__________
i’m so tired

“i jus wan take nap rih her”

(quoting my youth
when
lighting a cigarette off of the one i wasn’t even finished smoking
was what i did when drunk at a party)
_________________________________
am i drunk on the heaviness of existence?
am i regretting taking the drink of incarnation?
am i losing my ground-ded-ness?
________________________________________________
“life’s ups and downs are easy when you have a fast car”
is written on a card
magnetized to the fridge
at my borrowed sanctuary
where I go to feel loved and open
and give thanks for the opportunity
to throw my arms wide and let go

yeah, let’s go
let’s use that fast car and go for a drive
blast the tunes
throw open the sunroof
drink wine
hit the beach
relax
RELAX
breathe clean air
run
play
laugh
LAUGH
giggle
play
laugh
run
drive
weee!

{this has been an active process by adrienecrimson – we hope you enjoyed the ride – to some art is about process rather than outcome, hence the first draft quality of this collection of words}