Later, I was guiding a number of puppies – perhaps 12 – perhaps beagles – from the house to another location on the hilly, dried grass covered country land. They were super cute and playful and I was anxious about getting them to where they were going while enjoying their playful, vulnerable cuteness.

I once described a dream to a Jungian dream analyst on twitter called @thecarljung. The 140 character (or less) description of the dream was “still lake, dry grasses, bright sun, sex.” The dry grasses and feeling of that dream are very similar to the one I’ve typed up here. The response from @thecarljung was

Your dream paints a picture of a calm sense of self understanding

which was totally awesome and unexpected.

In researching puppies and litters of puppies I’ve interpreted my dream to mean that there’s some new playful energy coming soon that is full of creativity, intuition and self understanding. Yay!

You raise my hopes, then you raise the odds.
You tell me that I dream to much

…from a The Ubiquitous Mr. Lovegrove on Into the Labyrinth by Dead Can Dance.

The next thing to come from my mouth were incredible sobs. Heart-center-wringing sobs in a repeated rhythm every half second. I witnessed the whole process without much, if any, attachment to what was happening. There were no thoughts or feelings associated with the sobs. I went to my bed and screamed into my pillow over and over – the tears burned my eyes.

My dad taught me “Primal Scream Therapy” when I was a kid. He’d pick me up from the airport when I’d come for a visit and once in the cab of his red pick up truck (with his hand-made fiberglass trailer complete with woodstove, urinal, cooler and full-size murphy bed) he’d say “Enie, let me hear you scream.” He’d listen to me scream and then tell me to do it louder, which I would. This “conversation” lasted for as long as it took for me to scream with all of my body. I always felt a little high and VERY relaxed after those “therapy” sessions. He liked to tell me about this process when I was older and he’d describe how I’d arrive tense and uptight and after a few minutes of “PST” I’d be bouncy and happy-go-lucky again.

When I was just finishing college at MUM, I was given a beautiful jyotish quality pearl because it was recommended that I wear a pearl to support my moon and give me more emotional balance. When I put it on I screamed at the person I was sharing a house and car with, with such vigor that hot, burny tears came from my eyes and I was relatively disassociated with the feelings. The pearl allowed me to release what I’d had pent up inside me that was bothering me. I felt amazing after that “conversation.”

These three things are connected by the moon. The full moon was two nights ago at 1:40am. It is the Worm, Wind or Death Moon, among others in different cultures (these are Native American, Celtic and Pagan, respectively). I just within this last moon time, I spent 8 days diving under waves in the Caribbean Ocean, the most time I’ve spent in the ocean in 4 years (that’s one Leap Cycle!) if not longer. I’ve been cleansed by the Ocean and the moon. I’ve released my lack of commitment to being on Gaia and accepted a commitment to watch over and support another being on this planet. And with that commitment comes a renewed and strengthened commitment to doing all I can to support our planet.

This is the song that inspired all of this. Enjoy. It’s a masterpiece.

If you don’t see an embedded player (flash = boo!), click this link to listen to it on grooveshark.

Preheat oven to 375°
Cream together until well blended:
(If by hand, cream butter first then add others. If in a mixer, just add them all to the bowl & mix on medium w/ flat beater)
1c softened butter
3/4c packed brown sugar
1/2c evaporated cane juice
1/2c peanut butter (creamy or chunky depending on preference)

Add and mix to combine:
1 egg
1t vanilla

In separate bowl, sift together:
2c sifted flour
1t baking soda
1/2t salt

Add drys to butter mixture slowly and mix until just blended. Refrigerate.

To create the surprises, start with refrigerated peanut butter cookie dough, parchment lined cookie tray & small, room temperature peanut butter cups.

Sccop out one heaping tablespoon of dough.

Press the peanut butter cup into the dough.

Shape the dough so it’s thicker on top and bottom and even around the edges. Be sure to close it up completely, which may require a bit more cookie dough.

The dough balls should be consistently sized, spherical and spaced two inches apart.

Bake until golden on the edges and high points. They’ll be flat with a lumpy center hiding the melted peanut butter cup. Put the pan on the cooling rack and let them cool almost completely this way before transferring the cookies directly to the cooling rack. Otherwise, the melty peanut butter cup could squish out the bottom.

Shannon says these are great without the glaze so the last step is optional but I just love the extra chocolate.

In a bowl over boiling water (or a traditional double boiler) melt:
1t butter
1c chocolate (should match the chocolate of the cups – I use Trader Joe’s Pound Plus 70% because I prefer bittersweet)
2T peanut butter (ideally, creamy, cuz it’s a glaze but have at it!)

Stir to combine until the whole thing is a beautiful creamy consistency.

Now here’s where some patience is required. After spreading about one teaspoon on each cookie while the glaze is fresh and warm, you have to let the glaze set for a few hours. How long you have to wait depends on environmental factors like temperature & moisture. You could also try drizzling in an arty way, should you be so inclined.

ENJOY!

Purée dates in a food processor, after cutting them into pieces crossways, until they form a ball & remove.
Purée persimmons until liquified. Add dates back in and purée until consistent.
Scrape into mixing bowl & whisk in egg, melted butter, chai, vanilla & salt.
In separate bowl, sift pancake mix with pumpkin pie spice and then whisk into wet ingredients.
Scrape into buttered bowl that’s warming in its water bath.
We steamed it in a bowl inside this steamer. We filled the water up as high as the recipe recommends (2/3 of the way up the side of the bowl) and let it boil until the top cracked & a fork came out clean – appx 30 min.

This is what it looked like after we ate half of it…

It was delicious and super filling. This size recipe could be four servings with or without cream.
Happy Winter Baking!

I’m at their house in San Jose. Chuck is fiddling with a technology device and Kathleen says to him “you have to give it up – it’s just something to bind you to Adriene anyway” (in my email telling them I wasn’t going to make it, I had asked if maybe they could skype me in to the crystal bowl concert) I move on and am finding a seat in an area that doesn’t actually exist at their house and Kathleen looks very different from herself. The area is a maze of yellow tweed, high backed benches, like pews in a church but more comfortable because they are upholstered and padded. Kathleen has a straight, chin-length, dirty blonde bob and is sitting very close to one crystal bowl (every detail of which is practically opposite to waking reality).

She says something to me and then I get up because I wonder “how did I get here? I thought I wasn’t coming…” and I leave the room to go outside to see if I drove down. Sure enough, there’s a very interesting looking silver honda element in their driveway with a green zipcar sticker on the side. I’m happy I thought of such a great idea because it probably cost the same as the public transit option because it’s a short ceremony (normally, I go down there for hours at a time so zipcar isn’t cost effective).

I go back inside to my bag and Kathleen, as I’m used to her looking, is then next to me and I said “I made it! But, I didn’t realize I was going to make it so I don’t have a food offering” and she responded positively in some way. Then, we are in her kitchen (as I know it) and looking out the window at the back yard and I notice tattoos on her (she has none). She removes her shirt and her back has the most amazing fire tattoos that have white strokes in the middle of the flames that were made with scarification rather that tattooing – she tells me that it’s a rather painful way to mark oneself and I point out “but it LOOKS AMAZING!” (I wish I could draw better and show you – or just take a screen shot of my dream and post it here – soon enough, soon enough) The fire runs across her right shoulder and down her back diagonally to her left hip but it covers her whole back.

On her right hip and left lower back are big knives. (in researching knives to find out what kind they were, I discover that they are a beautiful flourishing version of juggling knives) I look closely at the knife handles and ask her what the handles are and she says they represent her guide animals. The one on her lower left has a handle made of black monkey hands and I don’t get to see what the other handle is.
(when considering a name for my massage practice, I thought to call it Monkey Fingers because that’s what my dad would call me when I’d be working on a small project)

Then I realize I don’t know for how long I rented the zip car so I get out my ipad to look it up but it’s stuck in some game and the home button isn’t working (<- woah – the analysis of that just comes pouring in). Then I try with my phone to get to the zipcar site and then I start to wake up. The imagery goes away and it fades into my considering driving down there instead of public transit. I do time math in my head and figure “it’s 9 now, i’ll have time to make cookies and leave by 10:15 to get there by 11″ Then I open my eyes, excited for my new idea and, wah wah wah, it’s 10:21.

This was, by far, the most vivid dream I’ve had in months and I’m super glad it was today! Happy 11/11/11 darlings!

Hanuman is known for being courageous, powerful, selfless and very faithful.

Ganesh is one of the most popular Hindu deities. He’s the remover of obstacles and is very sweet.

Here is a great little chart explaining the symbolism present in his depiction.

while I sit here
I chew on what you said
that last time we spoke
in words
concurrently
I masticate a delicious salad
made of only things good for me

now that I’ve chewed it completely
I’d say that conversation was
made of only things good for me
I will absorb the nutrients
of what you said
and it will allow me growth

I’m excited by these Alexander McQueen shoes as art. I could never wear something that adds 15cm to my height – with the 5cm platform considered, that’s still a 10cm heel (appx 4″!) but I’d put them on a shelf to look at, that’s for sure.
Plus, now I know about Grinling Gibbons and his fabulous wood carvings.